Disclaimer: These are my personal views, which have emerged from my personal experience.
In no way, they convey that you should not be setting new year resolutions. If new year resolutions work for you, please go ahead. Peace.
I have set New year resolutions for many years. Until recently, when I gave up on them. For good. No no, that doesn't make me a loser. Or a bad person. Or a non-achiever. It doesn't. Read on to know why I gave up on setting new year resolutions.Click To Tweet
1. They bring added pressure
Who doesn’t love December vibes? The mood is festive. The weather is perfect. Hot chocolate tastes heavenly in the mild chill. There’s excitement about New year eve plans. It’s so beautiful.
But admits all this, there is some pressure at the back of my mind.
Pressure to START doing everything perfectly from JANUARY. Pressure to eat better, read more, exercise more, sleep on time, etc etc. This pressure only increases when the new year actually kicks in. Everyday, I noticed I was unnecessarily pressured to do so many thing on my list. Why? Because HOW CAN I AGAIN NOT STICK TO MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS?
But what about How they made me feel all this while? Miserable. Not in the moment. Tensed.
So, I refuse to take this added pressure which I feel is totally unwanted.
I refuse to add stress to my life, when one of my most important goals is to actually reduce stress from my life. Click To Tweet
2. They make me feel guilty AF if I don’t stick to them
Can you relate to this feeling?
This feeling of guilt is definitely not a good feeling. I don’t want to feel so so so guilty of such small things in my life.
I know it’s an amazing feeling to do things on my list. But for times when I am not able to do those, I don’t want a feeling of guilt to creep in my head.
3. They increase distrust in my abilities
I couldn’t even eat 3 fruits on 1st January.
I couldn’t read even one book and it’s almost the end of January.
I couldn’t start meditating regularly.
I couldn’t make it a habit to sleep by 10:00 pm.
These are some of the thoughts that start haunting me, usually as early as in January. Somehow, I just thought, ok let me ignore what happened in January and start fresh from February. But I never realised what harm did I do to myself, unknowingly. By using ” I COULDN’T “ so many times everyday, I developed a feeling of distrust in my abilities to do things as simple as eating 3 fruits in a day, forget about achieving bigger things in life. And this feeling got bigger every time I failed to stick to my resolutions.
I am glad I paused and worked on myself. And made different choices. No, I don’t want to develop any distrust with myself in my mind. So I choose not to fall for new year resolutions.
4. Life has other plans
New year resolutions – On point.
Implementation – On point.
Then what’s the problem?
Sometimes, Life doesn’t go as planned.
Fortunate or unfortunate, things happen. Priorities change. Schedules change.
I decided not to beat myself up in such situations for not sticking to my resolutions. I decided to be in the moment for the things which are more important than my list.
Today I am a happier person to start each new day with new goals and not regret about what happened the day before or why I didn't do something I was supposed to do.Click To Tweet
Now, I do things out of love than doing them just because they are on my resolution list.
I am not harsh with myself and I love myself even when I skip doing some things on my list.
So, I am happier and more at peace without new year resolutions. Also, strangely enough, I see myself accomplish much more now.
So what do I do instead?
It’s a lovely time of the year. It’s a happy feeling to enjoy the newness in everything at this time of the year. So, I don’t like to pressurise myself with sudden new year resolutions, but does that mean I don’t have any goals in life??
Everyone aspires to become better. So do I.
I love to set goals and intentions for myself, just that I don’t like to resolve to suddenly start doing something or become a different person from 1st January.
I know it’s difficult for human body and mind to change suddenly. I like to change my habits gradually. And I set goals for the new year like I set goals any other day through-out the year. I have tried to explain this by an example.
Example of a bad resolution :
I have to be thin in 2018.
Actually, there’s nothing bad with that. But, that’s pretty directionless. Isn’t it? You will start doing so many things from January 1st to work towards your resolution. But, after a few days or a few weeks, you’ll get lost and not reach anywhere.
Example of a good goal :
(Ok, All this a chat going on in my mind, and then may be, on paper)
[I have to lose 18 kgs in 2018, roughly about 1.5 kg every month. Let me set goals for January first. Now that I have the clarity for January goals, let me list down my actions for the entire month. I think I can start with working out 10-15 minutes and eating one healthy meal for the first week of January. (And increasing them gradually every week.) For the next week, I should focus on filling my pantry with healthy food and removing junk from the house. Then for the third week, I’ll try to give up on the cravings. In the last week, I’ll reward myself for working on myself for the entire month and make other healthier choices. Then based on where I reach, I’ll set goals for February……. Ok after that I’ll change my plan of action, let me go this far first.]
So, by giving the other example I want to let you know the following things:
Goals should be clear, not vague.
You should always break down your bigger goals into smaller goals.
After breaking them down, write the plan of action for that goal. Because action is more important than planning. Haha.
Guess what’s even more important? Implementation. So focus on ‘DOING’. Results will follow.
I like to create a list of some do-able weekly actions, depending upon what goals I would like to achieve for that week. Be it personal or professional. I set some 4-5 intentions for a particular week and then change them the next week (if I feel the need). You can experiment and see what suits you.
It’s easy this way, right? Don’t you think so? And I feel I am able to do so much more like this. I set different intentions for my goals and they are from all sorts of categories like personal, professional, self-development, financial, relationships, self-care, travel etc.
I would love to hear from you. What’s your opinion on this?
Do you like to set New year resolutions? If yes why? If no, why not? Pour in your comments. I would love to be a part of this discussion.
Also, I want to help you achieve your goals for 2018. Ask me anything and I will be happy to help you or support you in your journey. 🙂
Happy new year.